(CNN) — It was only natural for Kristin Choe to begin drawing. Even at age 3, she expressed herself through art.
And that’s exactly what she did in the months after her mother, Navy Lt. Florence Bacong Choe, 35, was killed by an Afghan army soldier in March 2009.
The little girl took out crayons and a sheet of paper and began coloring in some green grass. Her father, Navy Lt. Cmdr. Chong “Jay” Choe, thought Kristin was drawing the family’s home.
But the final sketch proved to be much more: a symbol of their new life and a little girl’s loving memory of her mom. Dad didn’t know what to make of the drawing. It left him speechless.
Yet he kept the picture as a reminder of everything that changed the moment Florence was killed.
“When I think about what’s next — how do you press on? how do you live your life? — I think of Kristin first and foremost.”
As the nation marks Veterans Day, the sacrifices of men and women in uniform come into focus. Over the past decade, 4,421 U.S. service members have died in Iraq; another 1,822 have given their lives in Afghanistan.
The burden of moving on when parents are killed in action almost always falls on the women, the wives and mothers who must raise their children alone.
Support groups have long been established for widows. Among them is the American Widow Project, created by 2011 Top 10 CNN Hero Taryn Davis, which has provided support to more than 900 military widows since 2007.
But the changing landscape of the U.S. military, with more women deployed to war zones, has created a tiny fraternity: the widowers of war, like Choe, who are linked through tragedy.
Of the 142 U.S. service women who have died or been killed in Iraq and Afghanistan, only about three dozen were married. The husbands they left behind range in age from their early 20s to mid-50s. Many are fellow service members. Some are parents who must take on the responsibilities of being a single father while still mourning their wives and working around the clock.
“I was thrust into a role I wasn’t familiar with,” Choe said. “Being a single father, I initially found it very difficult in terms of emotional support that I felt I could provide to a little girl.
“There is no magic formula. There’s no recipe for parenting in general. But as a single father, I feel that it’s brought more awareness in terms of the need for that nurturing role, even more so in my life.
“In a way, through hardship, it has made me a better man because of my child, because I realize there are roles that I need to take on.”
Read more at CNN.com
http://www.cnn.com/2011/11/08/us/cnnheroes-war-widower/index.html?iref=obnetwork
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